The following entry was a great and pivotal moment of personal growth and healing I experienced in the fall of 2008. It is very personal, and I hesitate to share it. However, if others can take inspiration from my revelations, then I feel it's my duty to put myself out there for that purpose. It was with this clarification from God that I began to really understand myself and my life's purpose. In that moment I picked myself up and saw a new vision of myself and my potential. I realized that I was letting life pass by while I was hungrily searching for the moments in the future ahead that would hopefully bring me the peace and joy that I so desperately needed. Essentially, I was missing out on life all together.
That very month, I launched Readings by GeminiRose and dedicated myself to the service of others. (Added June 2010.)
I close my eyes. Silence. The comfort of the night is there- the shoulder on which I spill my tears, my wall to lean against. It helps me to provide the illusion of standing tall.
I inhale deeply and give thanks to the omniscient listeners. They are my ever-present audience. Tonight, they are the witnesses to my faith- My faith in love. My faith in happiness. My faith in life. My faith in me.
It is now that the realization comes: This is my life. How strange! All this time I thought of myself in a sort of limbo; a preparation time for the real life that is surely on its way soon... Soon... How could I be so blind? How could I have let those precious months, weeks, minutes, seconds slip through my fingers unnoticed?! I should be ashamed, but that is not the purpose of this epiphany. I'm not finding myself only to glare unforgivingly at my reflection in time's flowing waters. NO! To do so would be to sneer obnoxiously in the face of this new wisdom. I've been finally blessed with the understanding that I am meant to live these moments for what they are- mine.
I will no longer turn the pages of my life's album in hopes of finding a meaning that does not exist. I won't search for the reappearance of yesterday's saviors to carry me into the future. I am here. I am free. I am me.
This is my life! I will cherish it. I will nurture it. I will find passion in every breath and share it with those around me. I am finally comfortable in this newness- the world lies before me, and for once, I'm turned in the right direction! I embrace it all hungrily!
This is my life, and I shall ignore it no longer. I offer sincere gratitude to the quiet messengers who have stood beside me and guided me to this pivotal moment. I am listening! Thank you for this invaluable revelation. I will not forsake you.